Happy Birthday

Today my son is 14 years old.  It’s been over 100 days since I’ve seen him and some days I think I’ll never see him again but there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him.  I walk past his pictures in the house and I smile at his beautiful face and contagious smile.  Sometimes I even give them a kiss because I long to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I love him. 

I fell in love with him the first moment I met him and my love deepened along with our bond.   The first time I met JC, my ex picked him up from daycare and we had separate cars so I followed them to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner.  JC said hi and ran straight to the bouncy ball display in the center of the store.  I followed him and we ended up running and chasing each other through the store.  When we left, he asked if he could ride with me so we could race dad home.  We playfully raced but we didn’t win because I had no idea where I was going!  Once at their place, my ex started dinner while JC and I went to the park to play basketball.  He beat me but barely and I had never had so much fun.  I spent that first summer cheering him on at all his baseball games, joining them on their family vacation (JC asked his grandparents if I could come), and soon we were a family. 

The most special moments of my day, were those of bedtime.  The hours we spent laying in bed, talking about our days, telling him stories from my life, and sitting in comfortable silence were some of the best hours I’ve ever had.  He would pick the topics, ask questions, we’d laugh, tickle, and most nights I’d end up asleep next to him. 

I have thousands of wonderful memories with JC and I hope some day that we can add a thousand more.  For now, I will continue to send my thoughts, encouragement, and love telepathically and hope that he feels it.  In my heart and my mind, he will always be my first child and I will love him always. 

Happy birthday to my sweet boy!