Love

How could someone you love and have loved for so many years turn on you?  How could you not know that they had this part of them?  This part that could be ruthless, gut wrenching, heartless, and just plain mean.  How could they claim to still love you yet they say the most hurtful things?  How could they say they love you but then steal from you?  I have all these questions running through my mind and I’m just wounded.  I have never felt this hurt in my entire life.  Will it get better?  I know it will but how long is it going to take and will I be even a silver of who I am right now?  Is this going to change me?  Yes.  Is this going to ruin me?  I honestly can’t say no.  I feel beaten up and defeated and all I want to do is get into the fetal position and cry.  Cry until I can’t cry any more and then just stare at the ceiling until my mind stops racing and my heart stops aching.  You may think I’m being dramatic and I would definitely think someone was if I were the one reading this.  But I’m not reading it, I’m writing it and I have never felt this pain and disappointment before.